Just in case I ever forget, life always has a way of reminding me that I never have been and never will be one of the "cool kids". I am a awkward geek for life and I need to finally finish accepting that I just don't fit in anywhere else. Will always be over looked, doubted, picked last, picked on, the butt of jokes, and left behind. That is my lot in life and I need to accept it. Very few people actually can stand to spend that much time with me, and even fewer can keep from talking about me behind my back. If it weren't for Paige and my children, I'd have no confidence at all. People complain that I stop talking to them, but no one initiates any conversations with me. People back out of plans with me so often that now when I make plans i spend more time on my back up plan because thats what I expect to happen. My anxieties are too much baggage for anyone to handle, and my health issues are viewed as a crutch.
This is not a woe is me status, actually this is an explanation status. This is letting everyone know why I think and act like I do. I'm giving up trying to show you who I really am, because you don't care anyways. People only talk to me when they need something from me so often that when I hear from people I haven't talked to in a while I take bets with my wife on how long till they ask. I never lose.
So if you want to get to know me thats great, if you want to be friends thats great, but know that I'm not dumb or blind. I am cutting out everyone who treats me like shit, regardless of who you are.
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