I was just asked why when I compliment women at work, I don't get in trouble with HR. So I figured I would share my secret to the world.
The secret to not getting an HR call is making sure that compliments aren't the only time you talk to a woman, and making sure that it is an actual, simple, compliment and not a flirt or judgment of her looks.
For example, if a coworker is wearing a skirt that you think looks cute, then say EXACTLY that at the END of a convo, "by the way, that's a cute skirt." That's it, that's the entire compliment, and it was at the end of a normal conversation. Keep it short and simple and move on.
Why does this work? Because believe it or not, women are people too, and deserved to be spoken to as such. Which means having conversations on a regular basis that involve no compliments at all. It also means leaving compliments for the end of a convo to make sure that it is taken as a genuine compliment and not a flirt attempt. When you start a convo with, "wow, you look good today", what is heard is, "you finally have dressed attractive enough for me to notice you and I wanted to point that out to you so as to get your attention," Or something along those lines.
Basically it all boils down to respect. If you show them respect at all times, and treat women like regular people, because that's what they are, then your occasional compliment will come across much better.
It also helps to make sure you're not complimenting the look of someone you don't know. That can be very quickly misconstrued.
The secret to not getting an HR call is making sure that compliments aren't the only time you talk to a woman, and making sure that it is an actual, simple, compliment and not a flirt or judgment of her looks.
For example, if a coworker is wearing a skirt that you think looks cute, then say EXACTLY that at the END of a convo, "by the way, that's a cute skirt." That's it, that's the entire compliment, and it was at the end of a normal conversation. Keep it short and simple and move on.
Why does this work? Because believe it or not, women are people too, and deserved to be spoken to as such. Which means having conversations on a regular basis that involve no compliments at all. It also means leaving compliments for the end of a convo to make sure that it is taken as a genuine compliment and not a flirt attempt. When you start a convo with, "wow, you look good today", what is heard is, "you finally have dressed attractive enough for me to notice you and I wanted to point that out to you so as to get your attention," Or something along those lines.
Basically it all boils down to respect. If you show them respect at all times, and treat women like regular people, because that's what they are, then your occasional compliment will come across much better.
It also helps to make sure you're not complimenting the look of someone you don't know. That can be very quickly misconstrued.
It is okay to compliment people, it really is, we as humans crave compliments, it's just that we want genuine compliments that aren't just attempts to get in our pants or gain our favor. Especially women want this, because they never really get it. For most of their lives the compliments that are given to them come with stipulations. They are expected to act flattered that men even bothered to notice how they dressed that day. They are expected to be grateful for any attention sent their way, no matter how rude or inappropriate the compliment. So when someone they know and respect gives them a genuine compliment it means so much more to them.
So please, keep them small, simple, and respectful when you compliment a woman.
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